Apple Picking

We go apple picking every year like most New Englanders.  This year was more like speed apple picking.  We fit it in between multiple events but we took the time to take pictures, which besides the apples themselves is the best part.  Can't wait to introduce our baby to this annual tradition.  :o )

This is the best picture we took, sad isn't it !

So proud to be a Mommy

I don't slow down well.  I have been a go go go type of person since I was in the womb...ask my mommy :o)  But with the new direction our life is heading and my ever growing boys, It was time to slow down and enjoy being a mommy, and a wife. 

So the last few weeks I've slowed down, which means we've slowed down and I finally feel I'm getting the hang of it. I've been able to make breads, plan meals, and keep on top of a few things.  We've even had some fun...

These guys remind me that the job God gave me as Mommy is one of the most important, and I'm so proud to be their mommy. 

This Roller Coaster Ride called process

OK so just when I think I've come to terms with His time, circumstances show me I'm not.  This roller coaster ride that is the matching process is just the beginning but I wish we could skip this part.  With every call, I wonder is this "the call".  With every email from our agency there is hope...then there is nothin'. 

We were waiting a long four days waiting for the decision from one birth family when another opportunity presented itself.  Both have not panned out, but I know our baby will come...God is trying hard to teach me patience.  I'm learning Lord, I'm learning...slow as it may be.  Can we know our baby now? :o)

Relief??

Romans 12:2:

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

Wow, what relief could I have if this was how I could always see life?! 

Clean?

Have you ever wiped a table you thought was clean and turned your rag over and see the gunk your supposedly clean table was still holding on to?

Today I was struck while doing this task.  I thought I was a reasonably "clean" when it came to this adoption.  Most of my concerns I've posted here on my blog or spoken to close friends or family about.  But as I continue to read blogs, stories, see pictures and pray my heart is still soiled with the hurting of children in other countries.  I see the pictures of kids with no blankets, I hear stories of children who are left with no one to love them, answer their cries, or wipe their noses.  Those are the children I ache to help, and yet we are adopting domestically. 

When we started this process I wanted to adopt a child from Ethiopia.  My wonderful hubby wanted to adopt domestically...the only two things we were in agreement about was 1) we ARE adopting 2)we would prefer a baby.  After much prayer... and Ethiopia closing to adoption, we set the paperwork in motion to adopt domestically. 

Now 7 months into that descsion I am wanting to change our plans, change our homestudy and change our family.  I am put off by how some agencies act with domestic adotion.  We have two wonderful agencies that we are working with, but have had contact with others and have heard stories that are scary. 

So what now... This isn't an easy decision for us and having an accountant husband who keeps me grounded, we will continue on this path for now.  Our baby is out there and God knows their name!  We have decided that if in March/ April we haven't been matched that we will begin the process to change our homestudy to international.  But however this child comes to us, whether domestically or internationally, I will continue to help the 147 million out there without their forever home.  Once your heart is touched to adopt you can no longer ignore their unanswered cries...

First day of School!

Our boys started school today!!



Our 4th Grader (at a new school)



Our kindergartner (at a new school...he he)



The day wasn't without its hiccups. 

• We missed our bus in the morning because we had forgotten Tyler's glasses, which is a must for the first day don't you think :op .  Then again... our whole street missed the bus.  
• When Dylan was returning from school there was a bus boo boo, the big bus couldn't fit up our tiny road, and an hour later I was picking him up from school.   

The highlights of the day were:

• A free Mcflurry for Dylan (the lady had made an extra one)
• A free homework pass for Tyler for winning a scavenger hunt at school
• Tae left his friends at lunch to go sit with a kid who was in a wheelchair who was sitting alone.
• Dylan said as I picked him up..."It was a good day but they didn't teach me to read yet!"
• Enjoying the chocolate cake that Tyler made for dessert

Such a full day!!!

Boy's Day Out!

The Boy's went to a minor league game today...can you tell who's rooting for who?  My Ty likes to be the odd man out, the one who roots for the other team.  Don't get me wrong he know that the Yankees are the best and are his favorite at all major league games, but minor league gives him room to experiment...they are after all the home team. 

So here my Boy's are before their day out (which means Mom's day in, whatever will I do with all this time on my hand :o))

*P.S. Dylan is a lot more excited then he looks.  He's posing to show you that he has "Go Yankees" on one arm and the NY symbol on the other. 

MY plan

Reminder alert: This is a personal blog....with that said, I'm sorry for expressing my flaws all the time.  It's how I put myself back on track.  This blog is like my therapy :o)

I'm struggling with not being in control.  The beginning of work and school is a stressful time for me until I get it under control, my control, my plan.  I was struck this morning by how I am eagerly anticipating my kids going back to school so that MY plans can come into the picture.  I dream of getting up at 6 with my hubby, going for a walk, making hot chocolate and having my time with my Lord, then getting to the laundry, and preparing for dinner.

Not to say my plans aren't good, but they are MY plans.  I have been so busy this last week that I have forgotten to listen to God's plan.  I struggle when my plans don't play out.  I struggle to have the happy heart necessary for the work I do as a Mother, Wife, & Therapist. 

The adoption process doesn't help my planning spirit either.  I can make no plans (bad grammar I know but it's how it came out...remember personal blog :o))  I am asked about when baby is coming all the time...I have no idea and that is so hard for me, the planner.  But I am ever confident in God's timing and I remember that this is a growing process that I am to learn something from.  I will continue to strive to surrender myself to the Lord's time and plan...not my own, no matter how hard it gets.  (If I write it down you can hold me to it, and I can look back and remember my promise.)