Excited anticipation, fear, and prayers

I get so excited every time we know our profile is being shown.  Is this OUR child??  So far each answer has been "no".  As hard as it is at that moment, I know that this is not where God wants that baby and we move on.  With that being said...

We are being shown to 3 birth parents this week.  AHHHH.  It's so much harder to wait when we know we are being shown right now.  With all this anticipation, I can use this time to reflect :o)

We have grown so much in this process of letting the Lord lead us.  Let me count the ways:

1. My once-non- negotiable- about- money husband is willing to take on more risky situations, being comforted by the fact that God is in control and that if the adoption does not go through God knows best and just maybe that birth mother needed the financial support more then we did.
2. We are willing to take situations that we once wouldn't consider.  Is this scary? you betcha...and when I read up on all the side issues of said situations on the Internet it gets even scarier.  BUT I know the Lord wouldn't place a child in our family if we couldn't handle it and we have a great support system with whom God has placed wisdom as one of their strong suits. 
3. We no longer fear the "money" part.  God has always provided and I know he will continue.
4. We saw this year (an only this year) as my year to lessen my hours to provide the home support our family so desperately needs.   We have opened our hearts to the likely hood that this may be a much more permanent thing and that our job is to raise our children however the Lord leads us to.
5. I have written before about our surrender to His will and we continue to find more and more to surrender.

We continue to lift up the birth families that will view our profile and make their decision.  I pray that if it's possible for them to parent that they are offered the services they need to do that.  If it is truly best to place for adoption, I pray that they find peace in their decision and that they can continue to be a part of their child's life through pictures and updates. 

My final request is for prayers.  I ask for them a lot because I know prayer WORKS!!  Whatever the decisons made this week, I will continue to be patient for God's time and surrender our hearts, minds, & life to him.